Time to come clean

Ok so for a while there I didn't want to post about my weight gain I was disappointed in the way the band hasn't worked the way I thought it should work but I think I haven't done my best to work with it either. I know I need a fill but I'm trying to work with what I have. Ok so in the last month I had gained 6 lbs! For the Holiday Challenge I sent in the horrible 264.4lbs I couldn't believe it :( . But I've worked my booty off since then, I've watched what I eat, portion control and started hitting the gym. I decided not to weigh myself until this morning. I'm at 258.2! Now this is morning weight which will vary from evening weight but I'm hoping I'm at least at 258-259. I don't know if how successful I'll be next week since it is a very busy school week, which means less time at the gym, but my goal before my next fill December 09 is to be at least at 249 I want to be out of the 250s and by New Year's I want to be in the 230s will this happen? I don't know but I sure can try!

Holiday Challenge

It's official I've paid and joined the holiday challenge! I've been thinking about it for a while saying maybe I shouldn't do this...then I thought why not? Is there a negative? No!!! Just me FINALLY being a little more responsible about what I eat and how much I exercise! So I am officially going the gym on Saturday and my first work out will be Monday! I will kick this challenge in the butt for myself :) Only cheating days I'm giving myself is Thanksgiving and the day after LEFT OVERS YUMMO!!! And then back on that bad boy! I'm hoping by my next fill WHICH I SO NEED, I'll be down at least 20 lbs! Good Luck all of you who are on the challenge!

Horrible feeling!

I had my first stuck episode! It was awful! I don't know why I thought that it would be a good idea to have a piece SMALL piece of a mozarella stick! There I am in the middle of the restaurant trying to gracefully to make my way to the bathroom as I hiccup all the way there. I was slimmed into the trash can before making it into the bathroom it took about 5 mins for it to come up and I swore to myself never to let that happen again! Come Saturday morning my nieces were over for a sleep over and I made them breakfast burritos, well I thought I'll just have a small taste of one....WRONG! Stuck again! It only took about a minute for it to come up but it felt awful. I know it won't be my last, I know I'll have to learn the hard way what I can and cannot eat, but I know it will be worth it.

My fill isn't doing so well for me I need more restriction. Mornings are perfect I'm tighter and feel restriction so they tend to go well for me. Come noon time no restriction I can eat a little less than before but not enough to make a difference, same for dinner. I don't know if to call and try to get my Dec. 07 appointment moved up or try to work with this MINIMAL restriction for the next month and a half. Ok well I'm off to my part time work :( I can't wait to find something new SOON! Adios :)

My first fill!

Life has been hectic! Although now, not by choice, I'll have more time on my hands. My hours have been cut at work due to the economy from full time to part time (20hrs) and my benefits were cut too! I'm very very very lucky that my insurance paid for the surgery and all the follow ups up front so I have free fills (except for a $20.00 co-pay) for an entire year! Hopefully by then I'll have be full time (somewhere else!) and have full benefits again. I've thought about it though and think next month I'll be picking up COBRA...I don't think its in my best interest and safety 2 months after surgery not to have insurance. But that will be almost one of my pay checks! :(

Well on to better news, I had my first fill yesterday!!! I was worried about how it would go, plus waiting with my blouse up on my back for the doctor to come in for 45 MINUTES did not help my nerves! It went well he made me do the water test which freaked me out when I felt like I couldn't swallow the water...I hope I never have that feeling except during fills! I believe I have 4cc in the band and he said that by my appointment Dec. 7 he expects me to be about 30 lbs down....I hope so! So far so good, I was really really tight this morning but it seems to have opened up a bit and almost finished my breakfast shake... 2 1/2 hrs later :/ Is this normal? I've read on some blogs that they tend to be tight in the morning so I hope that's what I'm experiencing. Next week I plan to start going to the gym since I've been cleared to exercise goodbye 258! I'll try to do a better job of coming back and giving updates, I read all the blogs and they help me out tremendously, I hope I can help others too!

I'm Back!

Well what can I say the surgery went great! I was very surprised I felt no pain, really no pain at all! At night I needed some tylenol for some soreness, but nothing else. The next day was a little different I had a horrible neck cramp from laying on my hospital bed at an angel so although I went home I could hardly move. The last few days have flown by and I've been able to recover well. I've lost a total of 6 lbs after the surgery and I'm not surprised the liquids have been a little hard to get down...did you all experience the same tightness? I'm starving though so I don't know how normal that is. Well I have to get back to working on my paper and presentation for class tomorrow I'll give more of an official update on weight and how I'm doing after my post-op appointment on Tuesday! Thanks for all the advise and support!

Still Here!

Hello Everyone!

I'm still here! Its just been so crazy around here I feel like I haven't had time to breath, also there wasn't much news :( That all stops...now :) Ok so...the last two months have been a yo yo with my weight. After my cousin's wedding WHICH WAS AMAZING! I gained a couple pounds...5! It was the first time I had been in my home town and I missed the food so much :) and when I came back it was hard to get back into the protein diet routine. I get this little voice inside of me that says "well you already cheated on _____ you should just cheat today" I hate hate that lil voice! Well I maintained the weight gain through out July.

Starting in August I knew that by my pre op appointment they wanted to see a difference in weight loss I had weighed in at 277lbs the last time I was at the office so I was only down about 6-7 lbs I know they expect double digits PLUS first and foremost I want to be as healthy as I can be for the surgery. I was back on the protein diet! So far I am at 262-263lbs it changes from day to day, but at my pre op I weighed in at 263 so that's the weight I'm posting. It was really scary yesterday...I can't believe in 4 days I will be getting ready for surgery they have me scheduled for 9:00 a.m. so I did early check in yesterday after the pre op. It seems so real now!

OBVIOUSLY I'm a little scared, but really excited at the same time! Sunday is the start of the clear liquid diet! Any recommendations out there I know about the broths anything else that helped you all with the hunger pains? I have class on Monday night and I don't want to be sitting there with a noisey tummy, especially when I have an oral presentation! Graduate school has been killer and working full time isn't helping I'm really really thinking about asking my employer to go part time. Sorry for rambling but my brain is such a scatter! I'll be going shopping tomorrow for food essentials for the liquid diet and the post op liquid diet so any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

I'll post after the surgery let y'all know how it all went! (my texas twang sorry!)

Wow!

Ok well I'm down two more pounds in less than a week...I don't think I'll hit my goal of 265 by the wedding day since I'll be in my home town which means so much bad food I'll probably gain two or three pounds after this wedding weekend! Oh well! But on a great note I went for my bridesmaid dress fitting on saturday and they had to bring the dress in by 4 inches! Can you believe it! I put the dress on and asked my sister to zip it up, she walked away and I said to her "I asked you to zip it up!" and she said wait for it wait for it lol "It is! It doesn't fit you its way too big!" Can you believe it they measured me and I lost 5 inches in my Boobie area and I lost 2 inches on my waist and 1 inch off my bootie! The seamstress told me that I was one of the only bridesmaids she has seen loose this much weight, usually its the brides who loose the weight. I was so happy! Again it makes me dream about what it will be like 2 months, and then 6 months and then a year! I think I might hit my goal way before I expect too. I was shooting for being 100 lbs down from my starting weight within a year, but I'm already almost 20lbs with no band! Oh and I just received my first grade from graduate school.... A! Oh yeah lol it was a hard course and I expect it to get much harder, but I'm off to a good start! Well I'm going to get back to work! So much to do before my trip! AHHHH!

Something is better than nothing!

Well I dropped 4lbs in two weeks. I think that's pretty good taking into consideration I've been making very bad decisions on meals when it comes to the weekend. I can't wait until I have the band so I have restriction and not feel so hungry! Now I must start watching my intake and working out hard as my cousin's wedding is next Saturday I want to drop another 2 or 3 lbs by next week so that the dress will fit a little loose. I have my fitting tomorrow and I hope it fits! I was measured when I was 16lbs heavier so I hope that makes a difference in the dress. It would be great to be 20lbs down from where I was the last time my cousin saw me. She lives in New York, I live in California and her wedding is in our hometown El Paso, TX. She saw me at my heaviest 285lbs (I don't think I've mentioned my weight here before...WEIRD) and now I'm at 269lbs. I can't help but be very excited about the band and my future weightloss, I keep thinking if I can have this will power now with no help IMAGINE what I can achieve when I have the surgery! I hope by my surgery date AUGUST 24TH I will be in the 250 range whether it be high or low 250's it doesnt matter. I just think starting off at 250 gets me that much closer to being 199 by New Year's! Have a great weekend everyone!

Surgery Date!

I HAVE MY SURGERY DATE! August 24th! I should be upset that its so far away, but I'm just happy! Happy that this life long battle with no assistance is coming to an end! Plus the more I thought about it the better the day sounded. I am extremly busy at work and it will slow down around the first week of August, I'm getting used to going to graduate school full time and working full time so by August I should be better adjusted and I'm my cousin's maid of honor for her wedding this summer so I was worried the surgery would come right before or during the wedding. Bummer that the surgery is a week after my birthday, but its just a late birthday present. My doctor said I could get off the protein diet and start it again July 12th (1 month before my pre-op appointment), but I decided I'm going to stick to it, but cheat a lil. The shakes fill me up for breakfast and lunch, and dinner I'm getting used to eating a smaller meal. But I'm so going to get in some bad carbs here and there before July 12th and maybe a margarita or two :). My goal for my August pre-op date is to be 15lbs lighter than I am today...I might only be 10lbs, but you never know!

I have no life :(

I didn't even realize it had been close to a month since I had posted on here! I've been so busy with school that I don't even remember to sleep :) Well if you see by my ticker I have lost 12 lbs in 3 weeks! It has not been easy! This protein diet my doctor has me on is KILLER! I'm actually not as hungry as I was before, but it is the worst between lunch and dinner! It's like my tummy knows that it is going to be fed real food at 6 and it wants it NOW! I haven't been great with the diet either I might have lost an extra 3 or 4 lbs if I had been. I still eat cheese and still have dressings on my salads which are not recommended, but hey either than that I think I'm doing pretty good! Did your doctors have you on a protein diet 4 - 6 weeks before surgery? On all of the blogs that I read I haven't come across somebody who has...

My doctor has let me know I have my pre op appointment on June 18th and I was told the surgery is within 2 weeks of that appointment so let's cross our fingers I'll be celebrating 4th of July with my band. I'm assuming and hoping by the surgery date I'll be down another 10-15 lbs I'm trying to work to getting as low on the scale as possible so when I have to deal with post op and bandster "hell" I don't gain too much!

Now on too the boring stuff. I'm 3 weeks into my first graduate class and boy is it demanding! I was not prepared for the amount of reading I have to do for class... Just this week I had to read close too 300 pages, plus write a discussion question, take a test for class online and finally write a 5-7 page paper before tuesday next week! Yup, no memorial weekend for me :( I hope you guys have a better weekend than me :) be safe!

Day One :(

Ok today is Day One of the pre-op diet! I don't know how some of you did it, but I want to go eat a whole pizza after I get off of work! lol Seriously those protein shakes are like water. I'm so excited for half a chicken breast and veggies tonight!

I know I have great will power, but I dont know if I can handle this. I was going to try to avoid doing the mozarella stick snack and or turkey, but I think I'm going to need it! Do y'all recommend some good protein shakes I feel like the chocolate is going to get to me really quickly!

OH MY!!!!!

Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? My surgery has been approved!!! I just received the phone call!!! Oh my I felt really silly crying at work after I found out, but I think you guys will understand just how I feel! My eyes are watery again...but of pure joy and happiness!

Oh and one more thing...Monday when I arrived from my trip...I received a phone call from school I have been accepted into their gradute program!!!!! I don't know how or why everything is falling into place, but I'm so excited right now!!!! Off to lunch to celebrate with my two co-workers lol :)

Waiting!!!!

I haven't posted here in a couple of days put there isn't really much news right not since everything is on hold and I'm waiting! Waiting for the insurance to HOPEFULLY approve the surgery and waiting to see if I've been accepted into graduate school! I'm so worried about everything that I can't sleep very well the last few weeks :(. I love sleep need 8 hours or I'm a cranky cranky person :( and yet I've on been getting about 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night even on weekends! Ahhhh! I tell myself everything will work out in the end and to have faith, but sometimes its hard to believe that maybe this time things will work just the way I plan them too.

On to better things I leave to San Antonio, TX on Tuesday!!! It's my yearly trip to my beautiful city that I hope to move back to one day! And for the first time in 3 years I'll be staying for 7 whole days!!! My sister and her friend are coming down with me since they both just turned 21 and want to hang with the pros for a couple days and see what partying is really about lol! Kidding....not really...sort of. I have no free time to relax I am literally booked every day and I think I overbooked some days! Its very hard when you have so many friends living in one place you can't really just see some of them or the others get their feelings hurt, I learned that lesson the hard way from the first visit. The most exciting thing is spending time with my 5 closest friends, we went through some tough times together! College was a big wake up call to a lot of us who moved far away from our parents. We grew up very quickly and learned to lean on each other in order to survive. Like I tell them often, which I know the get tired of hearing :), I would not have made it without them, they were my shoulder to cry, the people that made me laugh until i cried, they are my family and without them in my life on a daily basis I feel a lil empty :(. I love those girls! I better stop watery eyes, I have to save it for the tearful goodbyes and see you soons!

FIESTA!!!! Yup that's why I decided next week for my trip...How do I explain fiesta? San Antonio literally shuts down the city to party for one whole week...I'm not kidding most businesses, especially in the downtown area, close at noon all week! They close the streets down and party party party!!! Food SO BAD FOR YOU but oh so good! Chicken on a stick!!!!!! AHHH Booze, booze and more booze! Beer, MARGARITAS, hurricanes, Sangria, wine, and anything else you can think of is sold at every other booth in the city! I'm so excited! And I know my sister will love it! I will make a San Antonian of her you wait and see! (I'll post another day about my plan to force all my family to move at least one hour from San Antonio so I dont miss anyone! :) )

Well I'll stop my rambling now. According to the doctor's office I should have an answer from the insurance by the time I get back from my trip. And that should also be around the same time that I get either approved or denied from Graduate School! Its going to be an emotional end of the month, regardless if the news is good or bad, or both. Wish me luck!

Psych Evaluation

Just came back from my psych evaluation and I was really nervous...for no reason. The Dr. was great he was really nice and just asked me questions about my life, how its going, and what changes do I have to make for myself. It was good to talk to someone who isn't judging me, plus he told me that I don't look anywhere near as heavy as I am...boost of confidence :). He actually recommend a book for me...but for my Graduate course work lol. He said he read it in college as a business major and thought I would benefit from it...Nice guy :).

I'm a little irritated though...He asked me when my surgery is I said I don't know he asked well you've been approved through the insurance right I said no. He seemed surprised that I didn't know anything about a timeline he said that he usually sees patients that are about to do that surgery within a month or so. My primary doctor asked me the same thing said that if she was clearing me for surgery it must be any time soon....:( I just wish I knew. Ah well UGI tomorrow then they submit with the insurance and I have to get on the Doctor's diet....EWWW :)

Changes!

Bare with me this is my first post and hopefully not my last! I have so many things going on in my life right now that I feel if I don't put them down I might go Coo Coo! So this is really for...me :) I've been an avid reader of blogs for a year or so and thought maybe now is the time to start my own.

Let me start off my introducing myself...Hola Cindy here! I currently live in Southern California and no I don't love it :( Don't get me wrong its a beautiful area and most probably feel really lucky to be living here, but not me. I am and will always be a TEXAN!! Born and raised! Because of this and that I found myself moving to California to be closer to family and get my life in ORDER!

THINGS ARE FINALLY CHANGING! I am in the process of submitting for lap band surgery and applying for Graduate School all at the same time. If things work out I might actually be starting school and getting the surgery days/weeks apart. Which is STRESSFUL! But, I'm tired of not living my life. I feel like I've been sitting in front of the TV these past 3 years watching people live their lives while I watch and mine is just passing me by. I finally decided that this was the year for change!

So here I go posting my ups and downs (hopefully more ups) I have my psych evaluation tomorrow and then my UGI on Thursday...then the doctor submitts to the insurance company....MY BIGGEST FEAR! :( Oh well "Que Sera...Sera" Also I'm finishing up my essays by Wednesday ::CROSSING FINGERS:: and I WILL submitt my application for graduate school by friday!!! AAHHHH!!